Alright. So. Last night I blogged because I really wanted to, and honestly had been kicking myself for the fact that I hadn't rounded out and finished discussing all of what it had been like to do the detox and really get to where I am now as far as experimenting with different food groups, and high allergen foods go.
I may or may not have been half asleep during that blog post though. Hahaha. Not that I didn't mean what I said, but I was so much in the mindset of "just write it to get it done, let everyone know you're doing great and go the eff to sleep."
The bf had just gotten home after a grueling day of work, he was watching The Walking Dead on Netflix, and where I had planned on sitting and taking the time to write a blog in quiet where my ADD ridden mind wouldn't wander, I quickly found myself being distracted by zombies and small children screaming. In retrospect, I really should have blogged earlier in the day, but hey. It's not really a big deal.
Day 3 came and went a lot faster than I was expecting it to. I mean, yeah, for a 3 day cleanse, it doesn't really seem like that big of a deal, when people are still doing The Lemonade Diet for 10. But it still takes a huge toll on your body when you've been eating either southern comfort foods, chinese food, pizza, hospital food, or just plain not eating at times because you just didn't feel up to it.
I honestly think day 3 was the hardest for me. My body had finally gotten used to surviving on a mashed up blend of fruits and veggies, with more solid fruits and veggies in between . . . but it still knew it wasn't enough. Every time I got up and moved around for any significant amount of time, I'd be in a full body sweat, like I had just gone for a run. Each time, I felt like I needed to sit down for at least a half an hour to just recover the energy that I had just expended.
On a lot of cleanses, they say that the third day is the hardest to overcome. You've deprived your body of the things it's used to, you've limited your intake so severely that you're in a calorie deficit just by breathing, and you're still surrounded by all of the comforting things that the rest of your family members love to eat.
I will say though, the boyfriend has been pretty good throughout this entire thing. He made a really simple version of stroganoff one night using ground turkey, some mushrooms, a can of cream of mushroom soup and an onion. That was on day 1, I think. He offered me a bite of just the mushroom, and at that point, I just calmly looked at him and said "No thanks, I'm really trying to stick to my thing." . . . Really not wanting even the slightest bit of cream, or oil, or whatever was in the mushroom soup mix to upset and throw off whatever I've been doing.
Granted. Looking back, I really doubt one bite would have done anything, but I was a little impressed at my own amount of willpower.
Day 3 though . . . man. He had worked a really long day. I offered to make him something when he came home, but he wasn't hungry, so come 8 or 9, he decided he was going to make some chicken nuggets and tater tots.
Deep fried.
The entire house smelled like them, and it was killing me. Any other day I would honestly be able to say "Oh, hey, babe? Can you save me a nugget? And a tater tot or two?" But because I was detoxing, I couldn't do that. I had to stay strong in my resolve to get to the bottom of whatever was going on with me, and it really was a test of how far I was willing to go, how far I was willing to push myself to turn down a freaking chicken nugget and tater tots.
Remember what I said about being a carb addict? Heh. Yeah.
I almost had to leave the room.
Instead, I was good. I've recently gotten into an old Japanese card game called Hanafuda - particularly the Koi Koi way to play. And yes, all of my anime-loving readers out there, it most certainly is because of the movie Summer Wars. I rewatched it at my parents house when I was home a couple of weeks ago. I pulled up the website, and in silence, I played my game while the cravings simmered down to nothing.
And that is how day 3 went. Exhausted, hungry, craving everything under the sun, but I still pulled through.
The next morning I was so happy to be able to actually eat nuts and seeds that I may or may not have gone a little overboard with some chia seed pudding, topped with berries and almonds. Okay, well, maybe it's not overboard, but when you think of how I've been eating nothing but fruits and veggies, to suddenly jump to "Time to eat all of the nuts and seeds humanly possible that we have in the house, 'kay?" . . . I was honestly a little worried how my system would handle the shock of protein. I was actually very happy to find that there were no problems though, everything went beautifully for the day. And so it went for another set of 3 days.
So all total, I ate nothing more than fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds for 6 days. Today is day 7, and I'm slowly starting to add things back in. I'm terrified though. I know I mentioned it in my last post, but I really am just so unbelievably scared that the few animal proteins I'm consuming today are going to launch me back into the horror show of what my life was like before this detox started.
But. I have to try. I have to see. If I can figure out what's bothering me, then it'll help the doctors pinpoint something, right? Like my mother said, I can't live in fear for the rest of my life. I have to be able to eat. I have to be able to eat like a normal person.
And so it starts. Today, I'm trying out some animal proteins. I still had my chia pudding for breakfast, but for lunch I had a 2 egg white, 1 whole egg omelette. So far, everything is doing great. I think for dinner, I might try some fish. And tomorrow, I'll try chicken.
As a whole, I'm going to try to stay away from red meat, and honestly, I'd love to have more vegetarian dishes in my life. I'm just starting to learn that veggies make me feel better - go figure. Hahaha.
I know that dairy and I will almost never see eye-to-eye ever again, which is horribly sad . . . but on the flip side, I know there's enzymes I can take for those (what are going to become) rare instances that I really just want a bowl of rich, creamy, full fat mac and cheese. But, in the mean time, I'm gonna get really good a copy-cat recipes. I know there's a vegan mac and cheese recipe out there made with nutritional yeast and sweet potatoes that I'm dying to try.
Until then though, I'm taking things a stride at a time. Literally. I found out this morning, using a new app on my phone, that I've actually been walking 2 miles every morning, when I thought it was only 1. Go me. Hahaha.
One day at a time though. One day at a time, I'm finding me again. And I'm getting back to being the fit girl I was a year ago. <3
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